I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
