I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize