Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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