Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
