is wine microwaveable?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
