No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
