why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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