Kiss
Puke
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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