You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My ass is underappreciated
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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