just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
