could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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