I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
