Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize