Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
