Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize