Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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