my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
