Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
