After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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