not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
