we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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