just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
