i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize