I saw his package. It spoke to me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
