went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
