I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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