do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I smell stomach acid.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
