What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
