i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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