i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
