Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize