I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
