To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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