Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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