singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My cat gives me a boner
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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