Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
