We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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