you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
