So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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