She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
