I cannot find my penis.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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