She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
