The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
