ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
