dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize