I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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