I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
