apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
