Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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