Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
worst night to have a conscience
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
