Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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