hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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