Your tits are I can't wait for
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
