So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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