hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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