check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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