Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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