You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
