I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
