I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize