girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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