Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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