Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
