I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
