i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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