he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
