I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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