so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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