i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
